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Egypt Solomon's avatar

When the lights go out in Omaha, it ain’t just the power grid, it’s the last flicker of trust in the global economic magic show.

Enter Warren “The Oracle” Buffett, a man so clairvoyant he basically hosted a dry-run of COVID like it was a TED Talk for plagues. Four months before the world shut down, Warren’s crew ran a pandemic-economic-collapse simulation, not because they’re evil masterminds, but because they’re prepared evil masterminds. And now, like a magician exiting the stage before the rabbit bites someone’s throat, Buffett bows out just before the greatest market implosion since 1929. Except this one won’t be romanticized by sepia-toned documentaries, it’ll be livestreamed from your iPhone at 3% battery during a blackout in Tulsa.

So yes, Spain and Portugal just “practiced” their power outages, like actors rehearsing a tragedy where the audience also dies. The crash coming will make 1929 look like someone losing ten bucks at Chuck E. Cheese. This isn’t a recession, it’s a rapture for billionaires. Buckle up, buttercup, if the next six months don’t turn your 401k into an obituary, consider yourself one of the lucky ones still able to toast marshmallows over a burning Tesla.

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Lee Floyd's avatar

I voted for Gold because y'all didn't include ammo.

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