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James ( Jim) Marshall's avatar

When the "crash" comes everyone will feel some pain, some more than others. Very few stocks, a lot of cash on hand, and a lot of than old useless yellow metal we little people have been told is useless most of our lives, will allow us to eat and sleep well. We, the readers of BPR, just have to remain calm and not panic as this crazy story unfolds ,,,,,, and it will!

Jim Marshall

Egypt Solomon's avatar

I love financial advice, especially the complicated kind, thousands of analysts, economists, strategists, portfolio managers, quantitative researchers, financial television, newsletters, algorithms, supercomputers, and Bloomberg terminals costing thousands of dollars.

All working around the clock to eventually produce the breathtaking conclusion:

BUY GOOD SHIT WHEN IT’S CHEAP, AND SELL IT WHEN IT’S EXPENSIVE.

THAT’S IT?!

Wall Street built the Large Hadron Collider of finance…to rediscover the yard sale. Grandma knew this! Grandma didn’t have a Bloomberg terminal, grandma had a purse containing seventeen Kleenexes and a Werther’s Original.

She’d walk into Sears:

“Twenty dollars?!”

Walk out.

Six weeks later:

“Eight dollars?”

“GIMME TWO.”

Warren Buffett Baby!

And apparently the strategy is so simple you can write it on your palm, fantastic.

BUY LOW, SELL HIGH.

Unfortunately, three hours later the investor looks at his palm: BUY HIGH, PANIC, SELL LOW, BLAME FED.

Because people don’t invest with mathematics, they invest with the same brain that sees fourteen people standing outside a restaurant and thinks: “THE FOOD MUST BE GOOD.”

Now we’re trying to avoid something Bill coined as The Big Loss.

That’s excellent branding.

Not market correction, not portfolio drawdown, not capital impairment.

THE BIG LOSS.

Sounds like a bowel movement following Thanksgiving dinner.

“Honey, where’s Frank?”

“Bathroom.”

“How long?”

“Forty-five minutes.”

“Big Loss?”

“Big Loss.”

And apparently the Big Loss arrives like a sheriff with a summons. Of course it does.

KNOCK KNOCK.

“Who is it?”

“Sheriff.”

“What do you want?”

“You bought Nvidia at 94 times earnings while refinancing your house.”

“Wrong address.”

“I can see you through the window.”

“No you can’t.”

“You’re holding a Robinhood statement.”

“THAT’S MY WIFE’S.”

The great beauty of bubbles is everybody knows bubbles eventually pop, everyone, nobody disagrees.

The disagreement is simply:

WHEN?

And that’s unfortunate because…

THAT’S THE ONLY F*CK*NG PART YOU NEED TO KNOW!

“There’s going to be an earthquake.”

“When?”

“Eventually.”

“Should I leave?”

“Possibly.”

“When?”

“Before.”

“Before what?”

“The earthquake.”

“WHEN IS THAT?”

“Eventually.”

Thank you, Professor.

That’ll be $750 for the advice Sir.

But on a serious note, I’ve always liked bubbles, they contain optimism. Nobody blows a bubble expecting trouble.

You blow it because you want it bigger. That’s also apparently how finance works.

“How large should it become?”

“Larger.”

“When should we stop?”

“Before it bursts.”

“When will that happen?”

“After we should have stopped.”

I see, very useful. Apparently when bubbles collapse, bad investments disappear, that’s actually healthy because bad businesses fail, bad ideas vanish, and bad debt gets written off.

It’s called creative destruction. People who lose their jobs sometimes use a different term, but economists prefer creative destruction. It sounds nicer.

If your employer says:

“Norman, we’re creatively destroying your position,”

You don’t feel unemployed, you feel avant-garde!

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