Maybe it would be better if it happened all at once. Get it over with quickly. Surely you wouldn't want to hang around too long after a nuclear holocaust only to be eaten by mutant rats and cockroaches.
Well, Roy, I am a youngster of only 78. And even us youngsters have experienced way too many of Ol' Bill's thoughts today. But as Toby Keith sang - "Don't Let the Old Man In, I want to live some more." Over 50 years ago I was a "stud" - today it sees I have trade the "d" in stud for a "pid". just "stupid".
From a geezer of similar age, that'd be me, I would agree that there is nothing much out there that is senior friendly. But as to understanding movie dialogue, there is an explanation that isn't helpful but can reassure that it's not your fault. My millennial son had to explain to me that streaming movies are compressed so that they can be transmitted over the Internet. In the process, sound quality is inevitably degraded. If you can watch a film on DVD, you'll notice the difference. And while I'm at it, ditch your smart phone. What do you need it for that's genuinely essential? Granted that this causes inconvenience with QR codes, but the liberation is well worth it. Phoneless, I walk the streets and am the only person looking around, not down. Bliss...
Couldn't agree more. BUT recently I'm driving in Minneapolis. I feel tremendous fear when I realize I forgot my iphone. One couldn't find their way around that city without google maps if your life depended upon it.
Agreed with Doug on hearing movie discussions. Even my grandsons turn on the subtitles. I consider it just general societal deterioration. Here is another tip. Don't actually listen to all the nonsense on those Hollywood shows. You can follow the whole damn plot without listening just fine, probably better. You can concentrate on the good looking women.
I have a Garmin GPS unit mounted on my dashboard. Never lost. And don't you know that calling women good looking is degrading? The PC police are headed to your place now....
You're right. I haven't heard anything on TV for years. But I seem to get a vague notion of what is going on--I don't think it is lip-reading, more like watching the facial expressions. Honestly, though, there probably isn't much worthwhile being missed, but I do like relaxing and not thinking about the state of affairs in the world while watching the tube.
Peak civilization. Borders, language and culture is now just a quaint memory. A mongrelized slave class ruled by a relatively tiny cabal is the future. It's painful watching it unfold in real time, especially if you have kids.
Aging is when nothing happens to YOU, THE ENTIRE F*C**G PLANET MALFUNCTIONS.
Your eyesight doesn’t deteriorate.
PRINTING GETS SMALLER.
Your hearing doesn’t decline.
EVERYBODY STARTS MUMBLING.
Your knees don’t age.
STAIRS GET STEEPER.
Your hands don’t lose strength.
“WHO THE HELL TIGHTENED THE MUSTARD?!”
It’s magnificent.
At twenty-five:
“I’m getting older.”
At sixty-five:
“THE PHYSICAL UNIVERSE HAS BEEN POORLY MAINTAINED.”
You hold the snack package here.
Can’t read it.
Hold it there.
Can’t read it.
Arm extended, glasses off, glasses on, under lamp, beside window, phone flashlight, magnifying glass.
Finally you hand it to your wife.
“What does this say honey?”
She squints.
“I think it’s the ingredients.”
“I KNOW THAT. WHAT ARE THEY?”
“No idea.”
At this point you’re not reading nutrition information. YOU’RE DECODING THE DEAD SEA SCROLLS.
Packaging is where civilization went wrong.
Forget war, debt, corruption.
Explain this:
“TEAR HERE.”
Oh, really?
HERE?
Because apparently “HERE” has been reinforced with the same polymer they use on freaken aircraft carriers.
You pull.
Nothing.
Pull harder.
Nothing.
Teeth.
Nothing.
Scissors.
Bend.
Twist, stab, prayer.
Nothing.
Finally you grab the bag with both hands and summon every remaining molecule of testosterone:
“OPEN, YOU SON OF A GUN!”
KABOOM!
Pretzels hit the ceiling.
One enters the heating vent.
Three land under the refrigerator.
The dog gets twelve.
You get…TWO.
And somewhere at the packaging company an engineer watches the security footage:
“Excellent.”
“Should we make it easier?”
“ADD ANOTHER LAYER.”
I sympathize with the fellow who can’t read the snack package. People say your eyesight deteriorates with age.I don’t know. I’ve noticed manufacturers keep printing things smaller. Seems suspicious. When I was twenty, the ingredients were perfectly readable.
Now apparently the manufacturer wants the sodium content known only to microsurgeons and certain species of hawk. Maybe that’s intentional. If a snack contains 4,700 milligrams of sodium, perhaps they’re hoping you won’t find out until the autopsy.
I was just thinking it might be time to ease out of my hermit lifestyle. Thankfully, I now see how foolish that would be. I do have to go to the post office though. But that should be enough for this month. Thanks for the reminder... and the laughs.
At 79 I know for sure I am not 21 anymore. I know I've seen more sunsets than those ahead but I am thankful to God for the good things He has allowed me to experience in life. I am also thankful for the large group of BPR guys and gals who add some interesting thoughts to the days.
Approaching the winter of our lives; If you have done life well the little inconveniences that accompany you in the last years of your life are nothing more than interesting little signs of a life well lived.
You are like the old man who went to the doctor complaining of noiseless and non odor producing farts. A hearing aide and some antibiotics fixed both problems.
Yeah, I appreciate your venting. Being a 73 year old German-American I have had to internalize the principle of “just say something nice” and it’s been working!🫶🏼
Nuclear holocaust, Ai takeover, Global catastrophic ocean rise flooding, Killer asteroid, calamitous ozone depletion, killer bees, peak oil, apocalyptic micro plastic saturation, one world order take-over…
My greatest concern is that it doesn’t all happen in one afternoon…
Don’t worry Angry, the Population Bomb will make all other issues irrelevant.
Fun fact...
If it were possible to place the entire world's population.
That is around 8 billion people.
Place each person in a 10ft by 10ft room...
Everyone in the world would fit into the State of South Carolina.
With room to spare...
I doubt SC would want them…😆
Maybe it would be better if it happened all at once. Get it over with quickly. Surely you wouldn't want to hang around too long after a nuclear holocaust only to be eaten by mutant rats and cockroaches.
Yes because I'd probably miss something.
Pure Bonner! Still laughing— and crying. I’m 79 and live in a very similar world.
Well, Roy, I am a youngster of only 78. And even us youngsters have experienced way too many of Ol' Bill's thoughts today. But as Toby Keith sang - "Don't Let the Old Man In, I want to live some more." Over 50 years ago I was a "stud" - today it sees I have trade the "d" in stud for a "pid". just "stupid".
87 and makes perfect sense to me sounds like a normal day for me lol
81 in two days. You just described a day in my life.
Yep
From a geezer of similar age, that'd be me, I would agree that there is nothing much out there that is senior friendly. But as to understanding movie dialogue, there is an explanation that isn't helpful but can reassure that it's not your fault. My millennial son had to explain to me that streaming movies are compressed so that they can be transmitted over the Internet. In the process, sound quality is inevitably degraded. If you can watch a film on DVD, you'll notice the difference. And while I'm at it, ditch your smart phone. What do you need it for that's genuinely essential? Granted that this causes inconvenience with QR codes, but the liberation is well worth it. Phoneless, I walk the streets and am the only person looking around, not down. Bliss...
Couldn't agree more. BUT recently I'm driving in Minneapolis. I feel tremendous fear when I realize I forgot my iphone. One couldn't find their way around that city without google maps if your life depended upon it.
Agreed with Doug on hearing movie discussions. Even my grandsons turn on the subtitles. I consider it just general societal deterioration. Here is another tip. Don't actually listen to all the nonsense on those Hollywood shows. You can follow the whole damn plot without listening just fine, probably better. You can concentrate on the good looking women.
I have a Garmin GPS unit mounted on my dashboard. Never lost. And don't you know that calling women good looking is degrading? The PC police are headed to your place now....
I’m doubly scared.
You're right. I haven't heard anything on TV for years. But I seem to get a vague notion of what is going on--I don't think it is lip-reading, more like watching the facial expressions. Honestly, though, there probably isn't much worthwhile being missed, but I do like relaxing and not thinking about the state of affairs in the world while watching the tube.
Peak civilization. Borders, language and culture is now just a quaint memory. A mongrelized slave class ruled by a relatively tiny cabal is the future. It's painful watching it unfold in real time, especially if you have kids.
That's one of the best coverage of day to day activities you have ever had. So true in almost every event!!!!
Good one Bill, that was a very pleasant read.
Aging is when nothing happens to YOU, THE ENTIRE F*C**G PLANET MALFUNCTIONS.
Your eyesight doesn’t deteriorate.
PRINTING GETS SMALLER.
Your hearing doesn’t decline.
EVERYBODY STARTS MUMBLING.
Your knees don’t age.
STAIRS GET STEEPER.
Your hands don’t lose strength.
“WHO THE HELL TIGHTENED THE MUSTARD?!”
It’s magnificent.
At twenty-five:
“I’m getting older.”
At sixty-five:
“THE PHYSICAL UNIVERSE HAS BEEN POORLY MAINTAINED.”
You hold the snack package here.
Can’t read it.
Hold it there.
Can’t read it.
Arm extended, glasses off, glasses on, under lamp, beside window, phone flashlight, magnifying glass.
Finally you hand it to your wife.
“What does this say honey?”
She squints.
“I think it’s the ingredients.”
“I KNOW THAT. WHAT ARE THEY?”
“No idea.”
At this point you’re not reading nutrition information. YOU’RE DECODING THE DEAD SEA SCROLLS.
Packaging is where civilization went wrong.
Forget war, debt, corruption.
Explain this:
“TEAR HERE.”
Oh, really?
HERE?
Because apparently “HERE” has been reinforced with the same polymer they use on freaken aircraft carriers.
You pull.
Nothing.
Pull harder.
Nothing.
Teeth.
Nothing.
Scissors.
Bend.
Twist, stab, prayer.
Nothing.
Finally you grab the bag with both hands and summon every remaining molecule of testosterone:
“OPEN, YOU SON OF A GUN!”
KABOOM!
Pretzels hit the ceiling.
One enters the heating vent.
Three land under the refrigerator.
The dog gets twelve.
You get…TWO.
And somewhere at the packaging company an engineer watches the security footage:
“Excellent.”
“Should we make it easier?”
“ADD ANOTHER LAYER.”
I sympathize with the fellow who can’t read the snack package. People say your eyesight deteriorates with age.I don’t know. I’ve noticed manufacturers keep printing things smaller. Seems suspicious. When I was twenty, the ingredients were perfectly readable.
Now apparently the manufacturer wants the sodium content known only to microsurgeons and certain species of hawk. Maybe that’s intentional. If a snack contains 4,700 milligrams of sodium, perhaps they’re hoping you won’t find out until the autopsy.
I was just thinking it might be time to ease out of my hermit lifestyle. Thankfully, I now see how foolish that would be. I do have to go to the post office though. But that should be enough for this month. Thanks for the reminder... and the laughs.
At 79 I know for sure I am not 21 anymore. I know I've seen more sunsets than those ahead but I am thankful to God for the good things He has allowed me to experience in life. I am also thankful for the large group of BPR guys and gals who add some interesting thoughts to the days.
Jim Marshall
Amen my brother
Approaching the winter of our lives; If you have done life well the little inconveniences that accompany you in the last years of your life are nothing more than interesting little signs of a life well lived.
Never forget, these are “the good ole days”
You are like the old man who went to the doctor complaining of noiseless and non odor producing farts. A hearing aide and some antibiotics fixed both problems.
I hear ya Bill. When I first read "Buttonholes are smaller", I left out the "on", and was wondering what the hell you were talking about.
I laughed a lot as I read today's commentary, all the while sitting here waiting for something to happen after just drinking some magnesium citrate.
Yeah, I appreciate your venting. Being a 73 year old German-American I have had to internalize the principle of “just say something nice” and it’s been working!🫶🏼
Best Bonner commentary I’ve read in a long time. I’m 80 years old and I can relate to everything that you’ve said. Ha ha.
I am with you Brother 💪
I SAID…. I AM WITH YOU BROTHER!!!!! 😉x