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Paul Murray's avatar

The moral of today's story seems to be that the essence of investing is contrarianism, you know, the "all that glitters is not gold" saw; the old "appearance vs. reality" conundrum, the "offer here and take away there" deception. Since there is no actual consistency in the world, and since results do not comport with intention or even hope, investing for return is at best gambling or at worst a rigged game. The silliest oxymoron I've ever heard is the term "safe bet", unless, of course, you're betting on government winning. Best always. PM

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Egypt Solomon's avatar

It is said that every era finds its emblem, and for this one, all roads seem to spiral back to a singular gilded figure, President Donald J. Trump, the Son of Fred, the American Savior.

A parable man, He is the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end of eternity.

And as the ancients taught, “Let the dead bury their dead.” A modern-day messiah, cloaked in red ties and destiny.

Henceforth, whomever followed him, they shall rise like eagles, vision sharp, hearts stirred, ready to swoop down upon the chaos below with a sense of purpose.

Now, on to the matter of global leadership.

In a diplomatic development so significant it bypassed traditional media and went straight to Page 17, Paragraph 1, of the 20th Basement Library in the Pentagon, I am honored and delighted to introduce the newly minted Prime Minister of Greenland: Sir Elon Musk.

Yes, the man who gave us rockets, electric cars, digital currencies, and open-source flamethrowers now beholds Arctic governance.

The source? A rare text titled “Green Go Greenland”, nestled quietly between the moon colony blueprints and the recipe for synthetic ice cream diplomacy. So buckle up. History is not just being written, it’s being launched at Mach 5. 🤩😂

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